Sep 04 2014
Sometime back we went to the temple to pay respect to my departed grandparents and great-grandparents etc. Yahn may be less than 5 years old but I wanted to let her know what and why we were doing these. So I told her that we were going to pay respect to our ancestors. That they have once lived together with us and have since passed away and we can now always remember them in our hearts.
And I took that chance to leave my final message to her too, in the event I couldn’t stay around her as long as I would like to. I told her that no matter where I am, no matter what happens, I will always love her. That whether I am home late that night, or overseas for work for a few days, or even if I should pass away one day, that I will always ALWAYS love her and I will always watch out for her.
And she understood. Cos she started tearing. And so did I.
Then she said to me with her voice cracking, “Mama, I will always miss you”. We hugged each other very tightly to sleep that night.
I don’t know if it is too early to share the notion of death. But given how sometimes it comes so sudden that no one can prepare for it, I need to at least let my girl know. Know that regardless of all the scoldings and the anger, that even if one day I should no longer be around to tuck her to bed every night, that she is most loved by me.
My greatest wish in life is not for fame or fortune, but to be able to be healthy and stay with my family as long as they need me. For my girl, that time will be till the day she finds someone else who loves her as much as I do and who will spend the rest of her life with her. That is the biggest wish this mom has… and may this wish come true.